


Only Human

by animeflower317



Category: The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Blood, Book 4: The Tyrant's Tomb (Trials of Apollo), Death, Gen, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Spoilers, Undead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:47:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21753973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animeflower317/pseuds/animeflower317
Summary: Apollo has another nightmare about Tarquin.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 55





	Only Human

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. I just finished Tyrant's tomb and whoo boy. That book is a trainwreck....in a good emotional kinda way. Spoilers. Obviously.

My entire being burns. There isn't really any other way to describe it. At least not when it feels like my brain is turning into goop. I can't take this much longer. I hurt. I'm dimly aware of Tarquin speaking from somewhere behind me. Something about evil? 

I cry out as another wave of pain sends burning needles throughout my veins. Meg screams. I know it's her. I wish I could say something....oh my nose is bleeding. The arrow of Dodona has been reduced to a buzz in the back of my brain. I curl into the fetal position as my lungs start to give. "Meg." Harder to live. I hurt. No. Stay. I don't. No die! Help! "Ah Apollo. My servant at last." Tarquin. Damn. Am I really going to die? Scared. "Meg. I love..." 

I can feel the air that I need escaping my lungs. My entire body goes limp. I can't even bring myself to move anymore. I hear Meg screaming my name. But now everything's fuzzy. "I love you....Meg Mccaffrey...." My vision fades as my last breath escspes me. I can feel myself standing. I shed a single tear....and then I die. So this is what it feels like......Goodbye. 

I shoot up in the motel bed. NoNoNoNo! I can't.....I...All I can see is Tarquin's face. I can feel his skeletal hands around my throat. Crushing. I can't breathe!! I claw at my throat, not caring if I draw blood. Can't breathe Can't breathe. Is this really how I die! I can't do anything! After curling into the fetal position and hyperventilating, I regain my ability to take breaths. Tears burn my eyes like acid. The shadows around me start to swirl. I look over at the occupant of the other twin bed. Meg, soundly asleep. I try not to make sound as the tears escape my eyes. 

I stifle a little laugh. Why did I think I would be okay after everything that's happened? My skin feels like fire. I can't....I need...I have the overwhelming desire to purge myself of the bad blood inside. I need to. So I don't huurt anything else. I pull the dagger I stole from Camp Jupiter out of it's hiding place under my pillow. I've been doing this since before I was healed. Honestly? It helps me feel in control. That's sad isn't it? We're in Kansas at this point. Headed back to New York to face doom once again. 

This isn't my first time. I glance at the other scars on my forearm. The first ones are'nt as straight as the new ones. I think I may have almost hit an artery a couple times. I get a sense of....I don't know what as I raise the dagger up to an unmarred patch of skin. It feels so good, so relieving, to dig the blade into my arm. I watch, captivated by the red rivers flowing from the wound. Much prettier than ichor. 

I wonder if any olympians are watching me. Heh. I wonder what they think of me now. My stomach rumbles. Oh. I gave my lunch to Meg again. I didn't deserve it anyway. I...don't think I want to go back to olympus at this point. Ares especially would tease me for doing this. I don't want to die. I just want to make myself suffer for everything I've done. I want to change. I really do. I start to feel woozy from hunger and blood loss. Meg's med kit helps a lot when bandaging cuts. 

I can finally take a deep breath now. I take a some ibuprofin for the headache that's coming on, and for the pain. I am a wreck. I kiss Meg's forehead while she sleeps. I wriggle under the sheets again. Maybe I can sleep now. I let myself fall into the black void of a dreamless sleep. 

Apollo fails to notice that the girl he thought was asleep is crying silent tears for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully you enjoyed! I probably need to stop writing angst. Am I okay?Because I just made myself cry.


End file.
